Sisters, meeting for the first time. Elvie's all, "This is not my favorite!" and
Zinashi is all, "I am the BEST BIG SISTER." So much love.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
A Photo a Day While We Are Away: Saturday
At the airport in San Francisco, chomping at the bit to get on
the plane and get to Elvie.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Heading Out
I am hours away from boarding an airplane with both children for a four hour flight. Mostly I think it will be fine, but every time I think about Zinashi possibly needing to use the airplane bathroom, I start to quietly hyperventilate. I'm hoping she can just hold it. Or that she'll remember how she and Jarod practiced last night and feel fine about going in by herself. Anything other than a crying jag, limbs flailing, scared out of her mind but not wanting to wet her pants. She will be wearing a pull up, and I hope that's enough to ease her mind if she can't bring herself to go in. I know she is six, but we are not taking chances. I can't fit all three of us into an airplane bathroom to help Zinashi pee, let alone help her change clothes. So we're taking precautions. I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best. It's how I roll.
We are headed to Missouri for Grannie's 90th birthday celebration. You might wonder why I just said Grannie and not "my grannie," for you've never heard of her, but if you live in Grannie's town or the surrounding area, you do know her. And you call her Grannie. Everyone calls her Grannie. It's who she is.
We are headed to Missouri for Grannie's 90th birthday celebration. You might wonder why I just said Grannie and not "my grannie," for you've never heard of her, but if you live in Grannie's town or the surrounding area, you do know her. And you call her Grannie. Everyone calls her Grannie. It's who she is.
Do you recognize this woman? You should. She's Grannie!
While we are away, I don't want you to get bored and have nothing to look at, so each day at 9am Pacific Daylight Time, a photo will magically appear right here on this blog. They're photos that, to my knowledge at least, we haven't posted here before, or at least it's been quite awhile. I hope you enjoy them.
We will return Tuesday night, and I will be back with things to bore you with tell you on Wednesday. May you have the happiest of weekends, and if it's possible to do so, I hope you enjoy some birthday cake. I know I will.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
For the Fun of It
This pretty much sums up breakfast at our house:
My life: never dull since September 27, 2010.
My life: never dull since September 27, 2010.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
A Most Worthy Cause
I've not written a post dedicated to ethics in adoption on this blog. I've mentioned it as part of other posts, and I wrote a very scratch-the-surface post about it on Babble. As part of that post, I wrote that you should be willing to walk away if things aren't right. As more families come forward to talk about ethics in adoption, I have found more and more families who have been willing, who would sacrifice everything they hoped for in order that a child whose family was able and desired to parent could do that. I want to introduce you to one of those families, and then ask you to offer them some help.
I've been reading the Watershed blog for I-don't-even-know-how-long. They are a fellow adoptive family, and their first child, Ariam, is from Ethiopia. After they searched for the truth in Ariam's story, they felt they couldn't pursue another Ethiopian adoption, but they wanted to expand their family. They chose to adopt from Haiti, and they chose an agency they felt would do a good job facilitating their adoption.
What they found as they got deeper into the adoption was that the agency was not to be trusted. When their son was legally theirs, they removed him from agency care and set out to find the truth of his story, to make sure that his adoption was necessary. They were willing to give up everything, all the financial resources they had poured into the adoption, the hours upon hours of paperwork, and most importantly the longing of their hearts to bring this little boy into their family, to make sure that adoption was the right option for him. These are people who are committed to ethics. And now that they are satisfied that their son was not coerced away from his first family, they need your help to bring their son home.
More information about why they are unexpectedly in need of funds is here, but I will sum up. This is not an ordinary adoption fundraiser. This is a situation in which the adoption was fully paid for, and the agency is holding the family's dossier hostage, likely hoping that they will sign a gag order, thus keeping other families from knowing the truth. In order to bring their son home, they will have to assemble their entire dossier again. This does not just take time, but also money. Money they didn't anticipate needing to pay, because they'd paid for it already. But in order to stand firm for the truth, they are willing to do that. So I hope that those of you who are able will stand firm with them for the sake of truth by donating to help bring their son home.
In addition to the basic need of being in a family, AJ is also in need of medical evaluation in the US. Additionally, his current foster family will be leaving Haiti for a sabbatical in July. Time is truly of the essence. Let's work together to get him home to his family as soon as possible. Donations can be made through Project Hopeful, which means that it will be tax deductible for you. I know that you are the generous sort, so I have confidence that you'll come through.
Thanks, everyone.
I've been reading the Watershed blog for I-don't-even-know-how-long. They are a fellow adoptive family, and their first child, Ariam, is from Ethiopia. After they searched for the truth in Ariam's story, they felt they couldn't pursue another Ethiopian adoption, but they wanted to expand their family. They chose to adopt from Haiti, and they chose an agency they felt would do a good job facilitating their adoption.
What they found as they got deeper into the adoption was that the agency was not to be trusted. When their son was legally theirs, they removed him from agency care and set out to find the truth of his story, to make sure that his adoption was necessary. They were willing to give up everything, all the financial resources they had poured into the adoption, the hours upon hours of paperwork, and most importantly the longing of their hearts to bring this little boy into their family, to make sure that adoption was the right option for him. These are people who are committed to ethics. And now that they are satisfied that their son was not coerced away from his first family, they need your help to bring their son home.
More information about why they are unexpectedly in need of funds is here, but I will sum up. This is not an ordinary adoption fundraiser. This is a situation in which the adoption was fully paid for, and the agency is holding the family's dossier hostage, likely hoping that they will sign a gag order, thus keeping other families from knowing the truth. In order to bring their son home, they will have to assemble their entire dossier again. This does not just take time, but also money. Money they didn't anticipate needing to pay, because they'd paid for it already. But in order to stand firm for the truth, they are willing to do that. So I hope that those of you who are able will stand firm with them for the sake of truth by donating to help bring their son home.
In addition to the basic need of being in a family, AJ is also in need of medical evaluation in the US. Additionally, his current foster family will be leaving Haiti for a sabbatical in July. Time is truly of the essence. Let's work together to get him home to his family as soon as possible. Donations can be made through Project Hopeful, which means that it will be tax deductible for you. I know that you are the generous sort, so I have confidence that you'll come through.
Thanks, everyone.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
On Mother's Day, A Letter to Zinashi's Ama in Ethiopia
Dear A,
They say that Zinashi looks like her father, but I see so much of you in her. Her cheeks, her eyes when they sparkle, the slope of her forehead, tilt of her chin. I say that Zinashi was the girl who made me a mother, but really, it was you who did. It was you who nurtured her for three years before she came to us, carried her on your back, held her at your breast. Precious three years that I would never take from you or from her. I wonder sometimes what she looked like as a baby, when she started to walk, what her baby laugh sounded like. But I think I can guess, and those years belong to you.
I wish that I could have given you more years with her, more time, always more time. I love her and I cherish her, and I can't imagine my life without her in it. The thought of her absence makes my breath catch in my throat, and I stop myself before I start to cry. But you, you are living that reality. So I am here to tell you that these years belong to you, too. I know that I mother her in person, but you are still mothering her, still holding her in your heart, still praying for her and longing to see her again. My gain is your loss, and I feel that acutely.
Today, I honor you. I honor the choices you had to make on behalf of your tiny daughter, the likes of which I have never had to face. I honor your heart as a mother. I honor the bond we share because of the daughter we share. I honor your sacrifices for your family, I honor your hard work, I honor your grief. On this day that we celebrate mothers in our country, I pray that this wish would find you in yours, that your heart would be full of the knowledge that you are never forgotten, that you are as much a part of Zinashi today as the day that she was born into your arms. May you know peace today and each day that you are apart from your little girl.
With all my heart,
M
They say that Zinashi looks like her father, but I see so much of you in her. Her cheeks, her eyes when they sparkle, the slope of her forehead, tilt of her chin. I say that Zinashi was the girl who made me a mother, but really, it was you who did. It was you who nurtured her for three years before she came to us, carried her on your back, held her at your breast. Precious three years that I would never take from you or from her. I wonder sometimes what she looked like as a baby, when she started to walk, what her baby laugh sounded like. But I think I can guess, and those years belong to you.
I wish that I could have given you more years with her, more time, always more time. I love her and I cherish her, and I can't imagine my life without her in it. The thought of her absence makes my breath catch in my throat, and I stop myself before I start to cry. But you, you are living that reality. So I am here to tell you that these years belong to you, too. I know that I mother her in person, but you are still mothering her, still holding her in your heart, still praying for her and longing to see her again. My gain is your loss, and I feel that acutely.
Today, I honor you. I honor the choices you had to make on behalf of your tiny daughter, the likes of which I have never had to face. I honor your heart as a mother. I honor the bond we share because of the daughter we share. I honor your sacrifices for your family, I honor your hard work, I honor your grief. On this day that we celebrate mothers in our country, I pray that this wish would find you in yours, that your heart would be full of the knowledge that you are never forgotten, that you are as much a part of Zinashi today as the day that she was born into your arms. May you know peace today and each day that you are apart from your little girl.
With all my heart,
M
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