Since our big move, I've not been blogging as much as I used to. Part of this has to do with the amount of work it takes to move into a new space, in a whole new country, and part of it is due to simply being out of the habit. There is so much that I'd like to say that sometimes it's hard to pick one thing. And sometimes, when I do pick one thing, it opens a whole can of detail worms that I can't seem to organize or sum up neatly. I start to feel like I'm writing a research paper, because that's the amount of work that goes into it. It's not that this kind of writing isn't worth my time, but I seldom have enough time at a stretch to delve into it the way I want to. So I've been plugging away on some things, but otherwise largely silent.
There's also the matter of Zinashi getting older and her needs changing. As things get more specific, I find I don't want to share. It's too personal. At one time, the things that were occurring in our house were incredibly common in the houses of families who were raising kids with similar histories. There was some safety in that, and there was an element of being able to help others as well, to be able to say, "What you are going through, we are going through it, too. We are digging in to help our kids, and here is how we are doing it, and here is why it is expected and even normal given the circumstances." It felt incredibly important (and I still believe it is) to name trauma as the cause and to implore others to recognize the struggles our kids were facing, and to be a help to them.
There is so much new and exciting research now about trauma. I mean, some of it is depressing - it's never joyful to find out that the brain is negatively affected in more ways than I knew - but I feel that overall, there's a lot of hope for my kids and for other kids who have lived through trauma at a time when their brains were supposed to be plugging away, developing and growing and learning, and all those things that brains do in typical childhood situations. Researchers are learning things that can help kids heal, things they never thought to look at before, especially in terms of how those things would affect children differently than the ways that they affect adults. That the DSM V has a separate list of symptoms for PTSD in children of preschool age is beyond noteworthy, in my opinion.
At the same time, there are a lot of people who still don't know about the effects of developmental trauma, let alone how to approach a child who is suffering from it. Even many therapists are not well versed in this new research. The word is getting out, but not everyone is hearing it yet. I hope there is still a place for me to help spread the word. I feel more and more that I'd like to do that in person, but I know that right now, the platform I have is this blog. And so I am struggling to figure out how to offer a little childhood trauma education without revealing too many details about my own family life and without writing a research paper instead of a blog post.
I hope you'll bear with me while I figure this out. I think it's important to share. I want to keep sharing. I've just got to find the balance. I'll do it. It just might take time. But you're used to that by now, aren't you? If you're still sticking around after all this time, I'm pretty sure you are.