Friday, September 18, 2009

Making it Happen

I think some people just need a little extra encouragement to get things done; such is the case with our CPA. So I called him again today (note the growing as a person that happened right there) and announced that I would pick up the documents at 4pm Monday. He asked if I'd be in Clinton anyway, as he felt bad that he hadn't gotten them done for me yet, and I said, "Well, not exactly, but close enough." By which I meant, "Dude, I am driving all the way from my house to your door because anywhere is close enough when it comes to moving forward on this paperwork. We want this little girl so bad, we'll double the mileage on our car if necessary." As soon as that document is in my hot little hands, I can hightail it to the nearest FedEx and have the home study paperwork on its way to our agency. Next to the box marked "Finish collecting home study paperwork," I can put a gigantic, glorious check mark. I probably would have gone to pick up the paperwork today, but I wanted to strike a balance between lighting a fire under the CPA's posterior and allowing him to feel like we are reasonable people.

This is going to sound really corny, but sometimes I feel her waiting for us, and it's all I can do to remain calm and carry on. I think this print would be more appropriate much of the time. Perhaps I'll get it for her room. What do you think--to the left of the calico or on the opposite wall nearer the grey tortie?

thanks for fixing up this room for us

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

One is the Loneliest Number

We are waiting on just one document before we can send in our home study document packet. It's my employment letter, of course, probably because I'm supposed to do a lot more growing as a person by calling people repeatedly. Since I'm a pansy who hates bothering people, I'd probably give it another week, but we are leaving on vacation the 25th, and I'd like to have this first packet of papers all in order and mailed to our agency before we go. The original goal was to have all the paperwork collected by vacation, for both home study and dossier, but it looks like we'll have a few more things to collect for the dossier after vacation. I hate leaving things undone, but the list is short enough that I can still relax while we're across the pond.

I keep telling myself that any delays we experience are only in place to insure that we get the right baby at the right time, and most of the time I believe it. It wouldn't do to get the wrong Magnolia, so I'll take a deep breath and keep plugging away until it's all taken care of and we have a baby girl in our arms.

In the meantime, you can pray or send good thoughts or whatever it is you do. I'd really love it if I didn't have to disturb that nice CPA one more time.

Thanks for being along for the ride, everyone.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Already Causing Me to Grow as a Person

Dear Magnolia,

One thing you should know right now is that I hate the phone, and I hate making people go out of their way to do things for me. You may doubt this first one as you grow up, as there are a few people with whom I've found I have magnificent phone chemistry, and so I can talk to them for hours on end, but for the most part, both of these things are true. My heart races when I dial a number. I get nervous asking someone to go back and do something the right way, the way I need it done. But for you, I have done and am doing these things. I have called people I do not know, I have called back to tell them when the things they have given me aren't just right, I have asserted myself when I would rather just be quiet and walk out the door. Not everyone in this world is kind and accomodating, Magnolia, even for beautiful babies who are waiting to come home. But today I made a call to someone I need to help us, and he was kind and encouraging and listened to me when I gave him instructions on how to get the form just right so that you can come home. This time when I cried a little bit at the end of the phone call, it was both because someone had been so warm and caring and because it gets us one step closer to you.

Magnolia, there will be things in life that you won't want to do, and I will ask you to do them. But I hope that you see me doing things that I don't like, in watching me take a deep breath before I dial a number, you'll understand that we do these things because we need to, because we are able, because we need not stop doing what is necessary because it makes us uncomfortable. Each time I do something that I don't like to do, I get a little better at it. Thanks to you, now I'm becoming an expert at dialing numbers I wouldn't ever otherwise use, at telling people what I need even when they are grouchy about it.

You are important to us, Magnolia. Even though we don't know who you are or what you look like or what you will like and what you will not want to do, you are already treasured and hoped for and loved. We love you for who you are now and who you will become. I will probably say this a lot, so get used to it: We cannot wait to meet you.

your mama

Thursday, September 3, 2009


I've sent my info to the third CPA I've contacted so far, and I have yet to hear back from him. He's a small town (Clinton, MO) CPA, so it's possible it doesn't occur to him to check his email every day. I'll follow up tomorrow. If he can't help me, it's on to the next person on the list. Unless you happen to know of a CPA that can sign my letter of employment and who isn't all nervous about insurance issues. I understand the reluctance, and yet I don't know why it is so difficult to simply verify the information I am giving and sign the letter. The people I work for (only two families) will vouch for my explanation of hours and rates. I do understand that CPAs who work for big firms have to consider the entire firm when they make their decision, so I'm not bad-mouthing people who really have no control over the types of things they can accept. But individuals? Come on! Don't you love babies? You do, right? JUST SIGN MY EMPLOYMENT LETTER. PLEASE.

We are still waiting on Jarod's employment letter as well, but for that I might just have to kick it into gear myself and go sweet talk his boss. Jarod is very busy at work, and I know he doesn't see his store manager very much, but I know what he looks like, and I'm pretty sure I can trip over him with a big plate of cookies in my hands and get somewhere. These letters really are very straightforward. I've typed them out with the appropriate wording, and all that needs to be done is for two copies to be made onto letterhead, one signed anywhere, and one signed in front of a notary. Not hard, right? No! Easy! HERE ARE SOME COOKIES. JUST SIGN THE LETTER. PLEASE.

Since we are momentarily stalled, I feel less like buying things for our hypothetical child, which is good. However, I do have an Amazon baby registry, the purpose of which at this point is to remind me what I've found to buy but am holding off on purchasing for now. If you take a gander, you will find an unusually high ratio of Baby Legs to other stuff, plus some expensive stroller blankets. "Can't you get blankets that size at Target for, like $12.99?" you may ask. Yes, you can, but they're not as pretty.

While it is frustrating to be stalled, at the same time I'm feeling okay about it, despite being annoyed that someone can't just help me already with my employment letter. I had hoped to have all our paperwork ready to go by the time we leave for vacation, but I'm getting more comfortable with the idea that it probably won't be. It will be mostly done. What we can do, we will. And when we get it in, and when we get on the waiting list, it will be the right time. When we receive our referral, it will be the right daughter, it will be our daughter, it will be Magnolia, who we've waited for and dreamed of and longed for and held in our hearts all this time. When I look back, I doubt I'll think, "Oh, if only I had pushed harder to get our paperwork done much faster!" I'll likely think, instead, at least I hope I will, that everything happened just right.
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