Friday, May 18, 2012

Hard Things, Good Things

I am behind on everything.  Laundry, housekeeping, sleep, etc.  I didn't get even half of what I wanted to do done today.  But we got an update on Elvie, and we went to consult with an international adoption doctor, who was amazing and gave us nearly two hours of her time, so the day was not entirely lost.  I read some words about Elvie's relinquishment that I wish I could erase entirely from her life experience, and then when I talked with the doctor about these unfortunate facts, I agreed with her when she said the very-adoption-un-PC thing to say, which is that Elvie is lucky.  Not to have gone through what she's been through, not to have been born with a birth defect that renders her unable to develop normally until we can get her here and get her the care she needs, not to have lost her family because of something that is so clearly not her fault, but lucky in one thing:  that she was born in a hospital.  I will say prayers of thanks for that every single day because without that, who knows what might have happened?  She is alive, and she will get the medical care that she needs because of that one simple thing.  And now she has us, and she has all of you, pulling for her.  That makes me so happy.

you are my sunshine
This girl makes me so happy, too.

There is work to do to get Elvie home, and five weeks both seems to short and too long.  Too short to figure out the rest of the financials, the plane tickets, the medical plans, but too long to be away from a baby who has lived three months without being held by her own mother.  I wish I had more time, but I wish that I had more time while I was there with her.  That, right there, is how I would sum up my life right now.  And that is hard, but that is good, because it is teaching me so much.  About patience, and trust in the process, and seizing the moments that I have right now to see the sunshine on my beloved first daughter's face.  About how the good outweighs the hard every single time, without question.  I welcome the lessons; on the other side of them, there is so much joy.

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