Let's fast forward through this part.
This morning I woke up and glanced at Elvie's hospital crib from my chair bed and thought, "Her foot looks chubbier. No, no, I must be imagining that." I sat up a little more and noticed that her thigh was definitely bigger. I mean, we've done good work with the baby fattening, but not that good. So then I stood up, and sure enough, she'd started down the path to become a sumo wrestler overnight. Do they even allow women to participate in that sport? Because we're told that she'll be even puffier tomorrow, as a result of typical fluid retention following surgery, so I thought maybe I'd take a headshot for her...sumo portfolio? This joke is really falling apart. But what I want to say is that seeing your baby so puffy that its hard for her to open her eyes is indeed one of the most pitiful things you will ever witness.
She is progressing slowly but surely, and so many good things are happening, but it is hard to watch her so groggy and uncomfortable. This really is the hardest part of the surgery process, knowing there is little more I can do to make it all more bearable for her. I just want her to feel better already. I want it to be a week from now, or two weeks, or however long it takes to get her laugh back. I want it to be whatever day it needs to be for there to be enough lines and drains out that I can pick her up and hold her whenever she starts to whimper or cry. That day, honestly, cannot come soon enough. I'm hoping it will come tomorrow.
So for now we are just hanging in there, willing the time to pass quickly, or at least for Elvie to sleep through most of it and wake up on the other side, feeling better. Thanks for hanging in there with us. For those of you who don't know (or remember) (or something), we do have a Facebook page that you can like in order to get updates in your feed. I apologize to everyone who does not use Facebook; I do not have a personal account, but it seems the best way to keep the largest number of people informed, so we set one up for the blog. I will continue to update here regularly for those of you who prefer to get your Elvie news here.
With that said, I'm going to get ready for (chair) bed. Look for another update in 24 hours-ish, unless something really awesome happens, in which case I will update you sooner. Let's hope that I get to update you sooner, okay?
Oh sweet Mary, this photo makes me cry! Sending lots of hugs your way friends! Looking forward to the photos of her in all your arms!
ReplyDeleteHow I hate the pain that both of you are experiencing. There is nothing worse for a mother than to feel helpless to ease her child's pain. Praying for the time to pass quickly until she is in arms giving you one of her beautiful smiles. I love you both so much!
ReplyDeleteMom
poor baby. so glad things are going relatively smoothly right now. lots of love to you all
ReplyDeleteHi, Mary. I discovered your blog through Disney Baby a few months ago, and subsequently spent every nursing session with my baby after that going back and reading everything I'd missed. I have so enjoyed reading about you and your precious girls, and have found much to relate to, though I don't have any experience with adoption. I do have an almost three year old boy, and my daughter will be one in February, so I believe she and Elvie are very close in age. Anyway! I am writing all of this simply because sweet Elvie has been on my heart this week and I wanted to step out from my usual mode of lurking and let you know that there has been one more person praying for your family and your baby. I've been so happy to see the positive updates and will continue to rejoice in her progress and send my prayers.
ReplyDeleteGinormous hugs to your mother heart right now. Each day is going to get a little better. It will. It will. It will.
ReplyDeleteYes, please - may you received a fast forward. So hoping you can hold your baby girl today.
ReplyDeleteOur daughter was hospitalized w encephalitis about 3 months post homecoming. She was 2 yrs old. Although our stay brief, 3 long nights in the peds unit, I will never forget when Medhanit started to swell. This was not a Postoperative thing but some kind of fluid shift from the infection....it was so hard to see.
ReplyDeleteAnd...I wasn't warned it may happen so I was just completely freaked out. Medhanit was scary sick for about 48hrs and another 7 days of worrisome sick. I think for us, her hospitalization was a sort of birth...sounds strange but somehow the vulnerability of her sickness along w the newness of being responsible and advocating for a sick child connected us... ( not that I would wish this on anyone or think this necessary for bonding). I have birthed 2 kids and, for me, it just reminded me of this raw deep vulnerable connection.
I happen to work in the hospital where Medhanit was sick and I acted crazy in front of many docs and nurses that I work w regularly...I could have cared less what they thought.
On the other side of her sickness I found this light..this birth like you are mine and I am yourS forever light. On a cellular level I fell in love and I believe she started to trust me. Now I am sure there are many ways to accomplish This minus the scary sick little one but for us our love was born in that dark place...she didn't really become mine but I defiantly became hers...I know everytime Elvie Opens her eyes and sees you, her pain is less and less.
oh little girl, sweet thing! get better soon! poor mama to see her baby uncomfortable. please know our family in Kenya is thinking of you both and willing the time to past quickly. xx christa
ReplyDelete