Saturday, May 31, 2014

How I Manage to Shower Every Single Day

no step stool, no problem

Even before I was a parent, I was familiar with the woes of parenthood. The two things that were mentioned most often, due to the stunning lack in parents' lives, were sleeping and showering. Once you've got a kid, sleep and basic daily hygiene go by the wayside. Noted.

But my experience as a parent has not yielded a lack of showers. Sleep is a whole 'nother story, but showering? I can always find ten minutes for a shower. You might wonder if my house gets completely torn apart by my enthusiastic toddler, or if the children bicker with such force that it summons the neighbors, or if someone regularly gets hurt while I'm washing away my cares along with the day's dirt and grime. I mean, this is the story that everyone has. Look at Elvie in that photo! Do you really think she's going to stop using things which are not step stools as step stools, or let drawer and cabinet latches stop her from reaching things which are forbidden?

Of course not!

And yet, I still shower every day. 

It's because I have a secret method, which guarantees that no mischief nor bickering nor injury will occur while I am lathering and rinsing. It's revolutionary and unique, or so my fellow parents lead me to believe, as they compare notes on how many days they went between showers, while I sit there quietly, hoping not be forced to admit that I am not made of sturdy enough stuff to forego what to me is like therapy.

If you ask me, at any time, if I have showered in the last 24 hours, I will say yes. And if you want to know just what my children did while I was showering, particularly Elvie, because you're sure it will be juicy and involve defacing furniture or assaulting the pets, I will tell you. The answer will be the same every time.

My children were sleeping.

And that, my friends, is the secret of my success*. They go to sleep, and I head for the shower. Boom. Done.


*I understand, of course, that some would rather do other things than shower. But if showering is your jam and you miss it like the deserts miss the rain? Don't hesitate. Get those babies to sleep and indulge.

3 comments:

  1. Same here, but I'm a bath person. They hit their pillows and I turn on the tap and choose a good book!

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  2. I hate Irish plumbing, and I particularly hate older Irish plumbing. The water tank is up in the attic, and the noise of the water in the pipes wakes my son. Seriously. All that noise for so little water pressure. The one thing I really miss as an ex pat is a good shower. For its many faults, America does plumbing really well. (And there's the real reason I could never home school. I can only shower when my son is at school or watching a movie, and the movie option is still risky.)

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    Replies
    1. Oh, no! That sounds terrible! I don't know what I'd do if my shower woke up my kids! (Probably go crazy.)

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